Child Custody: 25 Stupid Mistakes to Avoid!

Winning your Rhode Island Child Custody case by not making dumb mistakes

In my 13 years as a Rhode Island Child Custody Lawyer, I have seen many fathers and mothers make inane and stupid decisions during the time of Rhode Island Child Custody Proceedings. Sometimes winning your RI Child Custody is about the mistakes that you avoid instead of what you do right.

The stupid and boorish behavior set forth below may obstruct or ruin your chances of getting Custody in Rhode Island Family Court. All of the actions set forth below are actual behavior that I have seen in Rhode Island Family Court

Read this RI Family Law article carefully!

I am almost afraid to tell people not to include in the behavior and antics set forth below for fear of being accused of being condescending or patronizing to my clients. It is really just shared senses. Ironically, many of the mistakes that mothers and fathers make are mistakes made in an attempt to get an unfair advantage.

1. Do Not post Inappropriate content on Facebook, MySpace, social networks or online which show that you are an unfit parent, use drugs or alcohol or otherwise not acting in the best interest of your child. Remember, the other parent is often trolling around your Facebook page looking for any angle to help him or her prevail in the custody feud. A seemingly not harmful “Facebook friend” may truly be feeding information to the other parent.

2. Do Not Post online Negative or disparaging remarks or comments about the other parent, the estimate, the psychiatrist, the psychologist, the custody evaluator, anyone involved in the custody proceeding, the other Rhode Island Lawyer or the other parties family.

3. Do not Blog about your case. You should fight your case in Court not on your blog. These blogs infuriate judges especially when there is a chance that the children may view the blog.

4. Do not buy an expensive item, cars or take a trip when you are claiming you can’t provide child sustain or you confront a child sustain contempt motion. The other Rhode Island Lawyer will use this to prove that your contempt is willful and ask that you be incarcerated.

5. Do not use a 500 dollar watch to your Rhode Island Child sustain Contempt hearing. If you can’t provide your child sustain you should not be buying expensive items while you are claiming you are broke. Certainly if you owe RI Child sustain you should not be wearing expensive items in Court.

7. Do not make dumb arguments in Rhode Island Family Court. Please see my article concerning making stupid arguments in RI family Court. These arguments destroy your credibility, waste valuable Court resources and usually irk the judges.

8. Do not Coach your child to take your side. This usually backfires because most children are incapable of lying. The first thing that the custody evaluator, Rhode Island Guardian ad Litem or investigator does is ask the child who they talked to about the case. Your child is not your friend or your confidante regarding the Rhode Island Divorce proceedings or the RI Child Custody Case. Coaching children can be emotionally unhealthy and confusing to your child.

9. Do not send the other parent inappropriate or threatening text messages, emails, or voice messages that always will be shown to the estimate. These stupid text messages are ridiculous and are an easy way to lose you RI Child Custody case. You want the estimate to perceive you as the better parent and the reasonable person and these emails do not help your case!

10. Do not send drug or alcohol induced text messages

11. Do not make negative comments or remarks about the other parent in the presence of your child. This is the most frequent mistake that parents make in Rhode Island Child Custody situations. These comments can be very unhealthy to your child. They also show the estimate that you don’t care about your child’s emotional well being.

12. Do not make threats, or act inappropriately on the phone to the other parent. Assume that everything you say is being taped because many parents tape the other parent.

13. Do not Use Illegal Drugs. At any time during the Rhode Island Child Custody Case you are unprotected to being drug tested. A positive drug test may destroy your chances to prevail in your custody case and may rule to supervised visitation.

14. Do not go out binge drinking the night before your evaluation by the custody evaluator. Yes one client truly did this.

15. Do not get involved in personal feuds, make accusations or act rudely towards the people who influence decisions in your case. You want these people to respect you and empathize with you on a personal level.

Trashing the people who are influential in deciding your case is a really bad idea. This specifically includes Psychiatrists, Psychologists and the person who supervises your visits. In one case, a woman and her husband slammed down their fist, became enraged and started shouting at the psychologist.

16. Do not write inappropriate letters to your child about the Custody Case. People truly do this. I can’t make this stuff up.

17. Do not deny court ordered visitation or fail to pay child sustain per Court orders. This just makes you look bad and can change the focus of the Rhode Island Child Custody case. If you are not satisfied with visitation than you need to file a motion to modify the visitation.

18. Do not write a letter to the estimate or call the estimate. Yes some of my clients have done this before. Your Child Custody Lawyer will advocate your position to the estimate. It is inappropriate to write a letter to the estimate.

19. Do not show up to Court over dosed on prescription medications.

20. Do not fail to show up for the other parents supervised visit without a good excuse and without calling Family sets and the other parent. (Unless there is a restraining order)

21. Do not introduce the child or get the child involved with a new boyfriend or girlfriend especially one who has a criminal history or prior dcyf history.

22. Do not have overnight visitors of the opposite sex while the children are home. The Custody case is complicated enough and there is no need to get other people involved in the case.

23. Do not buy the child a huge gift the day before or the day of his interview with the estimate. This looks like bribery to a estimate. However, gamesmanship is a good idea. There is nothing wrong with a day at the entertainment park the day before the meeting with the estimate. Gamesmanship is ok. Bribery is not ok.

24. Do not leave the state without informing other parent of where you are going and when you will be returning. You must also provide contact Information.

25. Do not have necessary heated confrontations with the other parent. Walk away from these bad situations and tell your lawyer. These confronations often rule to a Rhode Island Restraining Orders or complaints protection from abuse.

already if the confrontation is not physical and comparatively harmless, the other parent may blow it out of proportion and use it to get an unfair advantage by pursuing a restraining order or instituting Criminal charges

Allegations of domestic violence could destroy your chances of getting physical placement or joint custody of your Child. Sometimes these confrontations rule to RI Criminal charges. You do not want to be hiring a Providence Criminal Lawyer.

Important Rhode Island Family Law tip: Many people use the term “complete custody”.This is not a legal term. Legal custody pertains to decision making and access to records and is either Joint Custody to both parents or only Custody to one parent. Physical Custody is where the child resides on a day to day basis and the other parent has visitation rights. There is also shared physical placement.

Leave a Reply